The world is a lot right now!  That means self-care is even more important each day.  

But what is self-care, and what isn't? 

A good way to think of it is to remember you are taking care of the whole you, so whatever part you are doing, needs to not become a problem for another part of your body.  

Maybe a quick nap is needed - great! But a long nap that means you don't sleep tonight is not a good idea.  

Let's run through several self-care ideas, and all of them are free, except one.  

First, you need a good night's sleep! A minimum of 7 hours, so that your body can fully relax and heal.  It also gives your brain the time it needs to run its "washing machine" function, which is very important for both your short-term wellness and your long-term health, too. 

Take a shower or a bath, and be present.  Feel the water, smell the soap or the shampoo, drop your shoulders, and relax your tension.  

And drink water to stay hydrated.  The headache you have might be because you haven't had enough water to drink, and your body is showing you signs of dehydration.  

Go outside, even if it's just standing in the doorway, and breathe fresh air.  See the sky, even if it's cloudy.  Bonus points if you catch the sunrise or sunset, and triple points if you see them both. 

Move your body. If you can go for a walk, great! If not, do things that naturally move your body. Sweep the patio or the kitchen.  Clean out the garage or your closet. Rearrange all of the books on the shelf and dust them. Do something that moves your body. 

Call a friend and laugh.  Watch a funny movie or TV show, and that laughter will break up tension in your body.  

Hug someone, or wrap your arms around yourself and hug yourself.  Hold that hug, and let your body release the feel-good chemicals it needs. 

And this is the one that costs money.  If you can afford it, go get a massage.  The human touch and relaxation will do you good. Or get your favorite cream or lotion and rub your feet, taking time to rub each toe and all the sides, top, and bottom of each foot and ankle.  Do the same for your hands, fingers, and wrists.  Moisturize your entire body if you can. 

Comfort food, yep, enjoy some.  Some is the key word here, moderation.  Yes, have the pizza, but not every night.  Have a cupcake and not half of a carrot cake, while pretending it's your vegetable of the day.  That said, yes, eat your vegetables, eat foods that are healthy and fuel you. 

Do you take meds?  Then make sure you are taking them, and taking them on schedule. 

Help someone else - who is the one friend or family member that might need a reminder of these things, or a positive message, and I see you.  

And remember that the national crisis line is 988 - you can call or text for free and confidential, 24/7 in the States.  

​If you have ever been bowling, you might know about the bumper rails they can put up on your lane.  They create a barrier, making sure you will not have any gutter balls.  All of the balls will stay on the lane and head towards the pins.    

Rails are also something we can give people to help them have the time they need to learn, and to continue moving forward.  Parents do this when they start giving a child freedom. Here are the choices, here are the boundaries, here is what you need to know.  It's not every detail, it's not a guarantee, it's not making all of the choices for them, it's giving them a space to be able to learn without falling off the path completely. 

We also do this with medical information, if you know the information is going to be a shock and the person is going to need time to adjust and comprehend the information.  (And yes, a poor bedside manner is a possibility still in this example, and so is the insurance says you must decide in ten seconds.)  But again, let's look at it overall, the bigger picture. 

Not everyone can process information and see out of the darkness, and into logical next steps.  And not everyone has learned how to put their own rails up and move forward with their highest vibration.                          

​Funerals can be overwhelming emotionally, and they often happen pretty quickly before you even have a chance to process the loss.  If you have a family with many of the closest relatives to the deceased who are addicts and alcoholics, in recovery or not, you don't plan a service at the local pub.  The rails there are not going to help anyone.  

Now, say you are an alcoholic, and you are sober, and you are only one of many that would go to the wake, what rails have you put in place for your sobriety? What does your personal security team to stay sober look like?  

Maybe you are good, bars were never your thing anyway, and you have an actual support person you will attend with who is willing to just be there for you, and you can leave immediately if needed. Maybe they even take you right to a meeting after.  

Maybe you choose what is best for you is that you don't attend.  You find another way to be there for the family, and yourself, and to pay your respects.  

Maybe you don't have rails, no one trusts your sobriety, no one trusts your behavior, and they lie to you.  They don't tell you the correct when and where, or even tell you about the loss till after.  

​Those are all pretty simple examples to understand, but let's be honest, everyday life and rails aren't always that simple to see and to sort.  Part of maturing (which is different than just having more birthdays) is doing the work.  What makes you tick, what makes you triggered, what makes you heal? And now the same sentences, but substitute who.  Do it again with why and then with how. 

I do not watch blood splatter and gore movies.  My brain, soul, and vibration don't need that.  I am well aware from living my life that there is enough violence in the world, and to me, that is not entertainment; it is something that needs healing. 

I am not an alcoholic. But I never drink when I am angry, or sad, or feel like I need a drink.  I don't do it, because I know that fuels the wrong way out of raising up from a situation and out of it.  For me, I don't drink anymore anyway because of my health journey, and I am also always happy to be the safe person at an event that says Nope, I am good, thanks.  Especially for kids to see that no, not all grown-ups need to have grown-up drinks every time they are together.

And I never drink at fundraisers, but I always plan drinks when hosting one! Because even one drink loosens up those wallets, and people will spend more than they planned. 

However, I will on occasion drink a good margarita at a restaurant. 

What about that family member who is always a victim?  My inner security guard that keeps me from enabling, or being drug into yet another endless poor me conversation is I don't answer the phone when they call, and messages get left on read.  My rails are I will listen to the message, because there may be a rare reality issue, and I will read the messages, but I never immediately respond.  And if I feel triggered by it, especially true for me personally in all issues that involve lies, then I set a timer to make sure I wait for at least a period of time before responding.  Or I might say nope, that's a 24-hour calm-down.  And a good rail reminder is you can archive a message, and then you don't have to see it, but it's there for later. 

And here is a rail almost all women need, and some men, and it took me decades to learn.  I don't stop my life, my day, my goals, and put them all on hold to help you find all of the answers.  Instead, I offer a door for when you are ready.  Here is an example: someone you know is in a domestic violence relationship, she is in the car with the kids, she is finally leaving, and she wants to know where the nearest shelter is located.  That's a stop, get the directions, the address, and help immediately.  

Different than, I know she's in a violent relationship, but he's sorry this time, and it will be different.  That might look like here is what the cycle of violence is, and you have been here before, and next time he might kill you.  A conversation that leaves a door for her to use if and when she is ready.  Or she is kinda ready, kinda gonna think about a plan, maybe - here's a good resource, the domestic violence link, and a reminder about how search history can be tracked, and a library has computers you can use, etc.  (Here is that link in case you need it, https://www.thehotline.org/ and it will open in a new window.) 

It doesn't do me any good to call all of the shelters to see how full they are, what legal support they offer today, what outside counseling, or inside counseling, is offered, how they protect kids in school, or with online learning, how their clothing pantry and food pantry work, etc.  That's just wasting their time and energy and mine, my rails are, this sucks, here are a couple of doors, including I will help get you to a shelter when you are ready, or change the locks when he is in jail.  And it might be a good reminder for me to remember, she may never leave, or never leave alive, and it's not me that kept her there, or abused her. 
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Where do you already do rails well? When do you need to do a better job with your rails?  And are you using your security team, your boundaries, your rails to make sure you are always putting your oxygen mask on first, so that you can best serve yourself and others?  ​

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We often are worried about what mental health signs look like, but we don't usually think about the flip side of that, for either ourselves or another person. 

The next couple of signs would be not ignoring your feelings, and listening to your body and what it really needs.  Not the numbing out of shock, or the numbing out of behavior (that can look like a lot of sleep, or the way you are eating or drinking, and even addiction).  There is a return to knowing when you are tired and resting, or knowing that your body wants a salad and ordering that instead of ice cream, or even just slowing down with some quiet and tea on the patio. Finding your own needs, your rhythm, and putting yourself first, with the confidence that you deserve to be in your body and be happy.

There is a calmer feeling now, that you can breathe, you can work through and forward, and that you will be alright in this new normal you are creating.  You might not be fully clear yet on what that will look like, but you have a knowing now, it will happen, and it is coming.  

And lastly, there is the noticing.  Perhaps it is the birds singing, or the smaller wins, the positives that are happening around you, and that have been happening.  Very often, when we are in a numb state, we just aren't seeing, hearing, or processing that information.  Once we are on the other side, however, moving into and past acceptance, and into the healing and healed, we start collecting the simple things that are the building block wins, we will use to build our new normal.  ​

Can you have high-functioning anxiety? 

Yes, you can. Let's take a look at what that can look like in your brain.  And if you want to know what that can feel like in the body, you can go read this post.  (The link will open in a new tab.)

It can look like racing thoughts, that you can not quiet in your brain.  One thing, to the next thing, and over there to a different thing, there is not a sense of balance or flow; instead, it's just one thought to the next, and is creating stress, and not allowing any time for action or solution, or completion. 


Do you have a harsh inner critic with a lot of opinions, tear-downs, and insults? All of that negative self-talk. 

• Everyone hates me
• I am just going to lose anyway
• Why did I even try
• Why did I even start
• I don't even belong here
• I probably already failed
• Everyone is doing this, or life, better than I am 
• I just need to keep trying, try harder, do more
• I will relax some other time 

Constant state of urgency, and feeling behind, and I gotta hurry up, also comes from that inner critic and low vibration self-talk.   

High functioning anxiety can also look like difficulty being present with your task, your meal, or with others. 

So what might help? 

First, remember that wellness is brain and body; it's all connected. That means the things we do for our body, also help our brain.  

When we do deeper breathing, we are flooding our body with more oxygen. When we eat healthy foods, including fats, we are providing all of our systems, gut, brain, and body, with the nutrition it needs to work at its peak.  That means we also know that when we are eating a lot of processed foods, we are not giving our brain what it needs to make better choices.    

Staying hydrated is very important for your brain, and so is a good night's sleep, at least 7 hours.  When we don't have that reset, we aren't allowing our brain to clean out the fluids and reset for the next day.  All the basics.  In fact, very often doctors will prescribe a sleep aide, relaxant for a person who is in high anxiety, just to get them to have a good night of sleep and a reset.  

But we also need to change that inner critic, and there are a couple of things that might help.  Put positive notes around, where you will see them.  Yes, you can read them, but the cool trick is that your subconscious will read them; you don't have to stop and do it.  And you can change up the notes, or where you have them posted, allowing your brain to take in new data. 

Another thing that can work is to have a ring, bracelet, or even a hair tie (think Jason Momoa with his pink hair tie on his wrist all of the time)  and when you catch that mean voice speaking badly to you, say nope, that's not for me, I am awesome.  You don't have to say it out loud, but you can! And then move the item to the other hand. So if the bracelet is on your left hand, move it to your right hand.  Something physical with the replacement words.  

This one is going to sound odd, but in the morning, make sure and see the sunlight. Yes, you can even do that through a window, even lying in bed. And again in the evening see the sunsetting light.  Both are best if you are seeing it from outside, even if that is just standing in your open door.  

And nature, spending time in nature.  You don't have to hug a tree, but you can.  You don't have to go on a hike; you can just stop at the local park.  And you can just be outside of your house, on your patio, your balcony, or in your yard, and just see what the clouds look like, do you hear birds, can you see birds?  How warm or cool do you think it is? Have the leaves changed colors? Has the grass been mowed recently?  Are there bees, mosquitoes, or hummingbirds? Can you hear water in a fountain?  Just getting back in touch with nature each day can do a lot to give your brain a break.  

And yes, these are all habits that take time.  But you are worth it! 

Instead of trying to add all the tips at once, choose one that you resonate with and try it for a week.  See if it helps, see if you notice any changes.  If it does great, keep at it! Or if you need to, spend the next week trying a different one out.  Find what works best for you, as your body learns the resonance of calmer and of the triggers.  

​Sleep hygiene is what we do to make sure we are going to get a good night's sleep.  
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You might be thinking - I am clean, I shower, and I change my sheets.  

That alone is not hygiene.  ​

Many people are familiar with personal hygiene, shower, clean clothes, mouthwash etc.   But not many are familiar with sleep hygiene.  

​It starts in the morning, with making sure you see the sunshine, and yes, you can do that through the bedroom window, standing in the door looking outside, or just having your morning tea/coffee/OJ on your patio.  And then checking in during the day with daylight.  Simple enough and free. 

Next is when you eat.  Do the best you can to eat your meals at the same times throughout the day.  And no, that does not mean a regimen of I have to eat at a specific moment.  Instead, it's more of a consistent schedule, timing, and pattern that your body can count on. 

The important step here is to avoid heavy meals before bedtime.  

You should also avoid drinking alcohol, caffeine, and smoking or vaping, the nicotine is not your friend for a good night's sleep.  Now you might be saying No I need a (fill in the blank) drink or smoke or whatever before bed, but that's your habit brain speaking, and often we need to break a habit to get the good night's rest our brain and body need.  ​

This time we are talking words, not fabrics.  

Have you heard of Dr Masaru Emoto? He showed that water has memory; he would put a word on the water, freeze it, and photograph the crystal it formed.  He learned that thoughts, feelings, words, and music could all have an effect on the water molecules.  Words like love, peace, and wisdom made beautiful crystals, and words like hate and anger created fractured ones.  

You can learn more about his work here and see some of the crystals.  (link will open in a new window) 

​We also know that the human body is about 60% water.*

So, what are we doing to our bodies when we wear a t-shirt that has low-vibration words on it? 

You get the idea, is that the word energy you want to be soaking in? 

Certainly not if you want to raise your vibration, or keep your vibration higher.  

But what about a shirt that has a brand name tag on it, that includes a lower vibe word, can you just cut out the tag?  

And what do solutions look like?  Especially affordable ones! 

Yes, you can cut out the tags. That's a great start and costs you nothing more.
 
If you are handy with sewing by hand or with a machine, you can also cut out the words on a shirt and sew a patch in its place.  But no, covering it up doesn't remove it.
And obviously choose to purchase things with no words, or positive words, when you are shopping for replacement clothing. 

But maybe you want to add a positive vibe to something you already have, that's blank or neutral.  For example, a t-shirt from the beach that just has a wave on it, that works too. 

Iron-ons are affordable, and so are sew-on patches.  You can even print your own iron-ons with a normal printer onto iron-on "paper" and create your own wisdom words.  That is particularly great when you are looking to personalize your wellness.  And embroidery is another option that anyone can learn.  And fabric paint is simple and fun too. 

Another fun way to do it is to head to the local thrift store and look for items that have words you are looking for, like peace, love, joy, gratitude, grateful, wise, healthy, etc. Or salvage those words from something you own before you recycle it.  Many times a negative word t-shirt will also have the positive on it - I hate mornings, but I love coffee, is an example.  

Now you have a patch you can apply to a different item of clothing. 

Plus, all of these tips provide you with an activity that is quiet and keeps your hands and mind busy. Maybe even a new hobby, and a time to add more intention to your life.  

And pro alert, what's on your pillowcase, sheets, or blankets that you are sleeping on and under?  Is there a blank canvas that you can add a positive and healing vibration to? Or do you have a stuffed bear that stays on your bed? How about adding a positive word on that?

And your pets, do you put t-shirts on your dog?  Add a dose of wellness and higher vibrations to them, too.  

 Are you looking at your wardrobe a little differently now?  Are there changes you need to make? ​

What is the average percentage of water in the human body?​ ​https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-percentage-of-the-human-body-is-water

 ​Welcome, 
As you can see, there is a brand new look happening, and there is a brand new way of showing folks how to create wellness. We know, on all levels from a person struggling at home, to a degreed scientist, to doctors and psychiatrists, that the systems we have in place currently are very often making people sicker, and not bringing them to wellness.  Also, the idea that we can just pop a pill, or use a bandage to cover it up and go, just doesn't work for most things.  

Instead, it is very much about a lifestyle change that needs to happen, one person and one family at a time.  This allows that success and example to be built on by others, and for the healing to take hold and the wellness to happen. 

We know that many things create a domino effect in the body, and then the family, and that it is the brain and body together for health and wellness. But we also know that people have become disconnected from nature, and that has created illness.  And that stress is killing us.  

Here in the States, though, the main advice is - just go do better.  Go sleep better, eat better, and stop stressing.  

No real how-to, no patterns to follow, and personalization, yeah, that doesn't even exist unless you are paying a lot of money.
(and don't even get me started on overnight AI internet experts) 

Also, the simple things, the free things, all of the things that don't make insurance and big pharma money, those solutions are suppressed.  Meanwhile, the services they can bill for often come with a very, very long waiting list to be seen and are costing a person more and more money, adding to the lack of sleep, the stress, etc.  It is a self-feeding cycle of illness.  

And under the current administration, services are being cut, leaving us without places to refer people, except for emergency intake services.  

Many people, myself included, have struggled with how to move forward, with our education, our knowledge, and certifications, to help people create health and wellness outcomes.  Especially those of us who realize we are at a tipping point in the country, with creating new paradigms for not only wellness, but for how services are delivered, how more people can be included, cradle to grave, and for the coming crisis of elderly boomers needing care.  

We don't have the staff, the infrastructure, or the money in place to meet many of the basic needs of folks, and we see this with the growing homeless population. There are other places we see it too, a lack of support for our military members when they come home and are going back to being civilians.  And in nursing homes and hospitals that are using the handoff, not mine, you have to keep them, approach with patients.  

For me, I have chosen to use my skills to provide as many folks as I can with the basic tools that allow them to customize care for themselves and their families.  That's the direction I am going to use to build both a brand and a tribe of champions that are ready to move forward together, focused on wellness for all of us. 

And that includes keeping information available both free and affordable.  Not gatekeeping, not making it all complicated.  Once people can live the win-win lifestyle, it gets easier for them, but it also gets easier for all of us.  There is a saying that a rising tide raises all boats; that is the approach that is the core of what I do. 
We will work together to raise the energy tide, using new science and old skills together, allowing each of us to build the new outcomes. 
 
I hope you will stick around! 
T