 Waiting is hard. It just is. Whether you're waiting on test results or news of a loved one who's in surgery, or that someone has made it somewhere safe, or what's going to happen next on so many levels, waiting is hard.
A couple of things that help. Self-care distractions help. These are positive distractions that help you. Walking, exercising, reading a good book, making and enjoying a good meal, crafting with your hands, maybe that's knitting or crocheting or paper crafts, or watching a good movie. Notice these are ing activities, you are busy doing something. It's also important to be aware and mindful. Where in your body are you holding that tension, that constriction, that tightness? Find that place and honor it. Tighten and release. Tighten and release. And remember, to breathe deep too. We're all going to get through this. And there's going to be a lot of other things in life that we're waiting for too. Waiting is hard. But with the right skills, we can make sure that we are honoring our mind, and our body, and our wellness, and our future by taking care of ourselves now.
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 I want to take a moment today and remind you about the seven stages of grief. Remember, they do not go in a linear order. Those stages are: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and then acceptance.
Perhaps you might go from shock to anger to depression to denial. It doesn't go in any specific order. But it doesn't also mean that you clear one step and don't necessarily come back to it, to process it fully at another time, or several times. For example, you may believe you have moved completely out of anger into acceptance. And then all of a sudden, something comes up that triggers you, and that puts you back in anger. That is normal. That is just the process of grief. I always like to think of them as steps, because where we are heading with grief isn't back to where we were. Instead, we are headed to a new normal. And sometimes on that staircase of grief, we stop and sit down on a step for a time, and catch our breath, before we can restart the journey. If you can't get off of one step, (remember there isn't a timeline) and catch your breath you might need help. Someone to show you ways to release anger for example, or give you that permission slip to yell. Or with depression, you may need something medical to help you sleep, for example, because a full night of sleep allows your brain to reset and heal at night. That doesn't mean you have to take something forever but could need a little help to get through the hardest and lowest time of that step to acceptance and the new normal. As a reminder with grief if you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, you can call 911 for an immediate emergency, or call or text 988 to talk to someone about the next steps and resources.  If you or someone you know is in danger or needs help, you can call or text 988. This is a special hotline (in the States)where you can talk to someone who cares and can help you. They also have a website, https://988lifeline.org/, where you can chat online and find helpful information. If someone’s life is in danger, you should call 911 right away. It’s a common belief that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide might give them the idea, but that’s not true. Asking can actually help save a life. If you think someone needs help, you can ask them how they feel and stay with them until help comes. If possible, you can take them to the nearest hospital and stay with them there. Sometimes, people are going through really tough times and just need someone to listen to them. They might feel like there are no other ways to feel better or solve their problems. It’s important to know that if someone dies by suicide, it is not your fault. When someone you care about passes away, it's okay to feel sad. Everyone grieves in their own way and for their own time. There are resources available to help you if you need it. A good place to start is https://988lifeline.org/help-yourself/loss-survivors/. If you want to learn what to say to someone who might be thinking about suicide, you can check out this website: https://talkawaythedark.afsp.org/. It has helpful information and resources for you! Remember, you are not alone, and there are people who want to help.  Have you heard of "fight or flight"? It means that when you are in a scary or dangerous situation, you either fight the problem or run away from it. Sometimes, you might do a little of both.
But did you know that four different things can happen when you're scared? Your brain decides what to do based on what it knows to keep you safe. The four things are: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn. Understanding this can help people who have faced danger feel better about how they reacted. Especially when someone asks them, "Why didn't you ____?"
Sometimes, these reactions can happen together. For example, you might first try to talk to someone and then freeze up. Or maybe you freeze and then later manage to run away. There's no right or wrong way to react, and you don't really have control over it. Your brain makes the choice, and your body follows. Sometimes, these reactions happen alone. You might only do one thing until the danger is gone or changes. This is also why police officers practice a lot for different tough situations. They train their brains to know what to do in an emergency. The more we learn about how our brains and bodies work together, the better we can help ourselves stay safe and healthy. It also helps us understand that our brains are doing their best with what they know, just like we are doing our best with what we have!  Everything in our bodies is connected, like a big team working together to keep us healthy.
For example, think about the heart. If the heart stops working, blood can't flow, and oxygen can't reach the brain. Most people know this, especially because we learn how to help others with CPR and hear songs like "Staying Alive" that remind us how to save someone. But it's not just the heart. Many parts of our bodies rely on each other to work well. Let me share a story to help explain this. Imagine you have a grandma who lives in a nursing home. When you visit her, she seems happy and likes spending time with her friends. She is eating better and feels more energetic. Even though she has some memory problems because of dementia, she is doing better, and that makes you happy. Then, when you visit a few weeks later, things are different. She looks upset and forgets many things. You feel surprised and worried, but you're also glad the nursing home called you. They tell you that she needs to go to the hospital for some tests. When you take her, she isn't happy about it, and everyone feels stressed. At the hospital, the doctors run, some tests and give her fluids through an IV. They tell you that she will stay there overnight, but they are calm and say she will feel better soon. That's great news! But you might wonder why she got so sick so quickly and how she can get better just like that. You find out that this is a problem many people have. An older person got a urinary tract infection, which then moved up to their kidney. They might not want to wear diapers because they feel embarrassed. They also don't want to have accidents in front of others, so they start drinking less water. This can lead to dehydration, which means their body doesn't get enough water. Then, they aren't going to the bathroom enough, and something that seems "simple" can cause big problems in their body and brain and even affect their mood and behavior. It can happen to both men and women, but the important thing to remember is that we all need to take care of our bodies to stay healthy. Wellness is all connected: brain and body. |
Wellness Brain and BodyThe importance of Wellness Brain and Body is so important. It's all one body, and it's all wellness, and all connected. This is the tie it all together page, and you can find break out pages under this main page, with details of certain areas. That's because it will be easier for you to use as a topic comes up in your own life, or that of a friend or family member. It's the goal of wellness for all of us! Categories
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